Oh, it's a disaster, they say. To be frank, I have averted my eyes from the full horror of the local election results as they have dribbled in over the day, but we all know the gist.
Go on, admit it. You can't do without it. Every morning - before we are even out of bed - we scrabble for the mobile. Our fingers grope for the little green icon, a speech bubble enclosing a phone.
With trembling fingers I reached into the chilled display. It felt like hours that I had been scouring the shelves in the vast Texan supermarket, with aisles as long as Westminster Abbey.
It is not often that Starmer comes up with something so crass that I push aside the breakfast table, hurl the paper at the far wall and run around the room pant-hooting with incontinent rage.
There's something that has been bugging me over the last few days. We are here in Texas - somewhere up in the hills not far from San Antonio and it's just stunning.
No, folks, Vladimir Putin is not interested in peace. He doesn't want to stop the slaughter in Ukraine - or at least, he doesn't want to stop until he has won. He wants to keep bombing and killing.
Donald Trump is a dealmaker and what he wants - very sensibly - is peace. His plan is one that I believe will help deliver the interests of Ukraine and of the US.
In the past three years, this ghastly war has taught us one thing - never, ever under-estimate the Ukrainians. Their audacity is undimmed. Their heroism puts doubters to shame.