Every time a barista yells a name across the room, I try to imagine myself yelling it across a playground for the next decade. But nothing has stuck - and I'm six months pregnant.
It's easy to take our friendships for granted. I never really analysed mine properly until there were two seismic events in my life: leaving my marriage and leaving my job.
It is ten years since my life imploded in my mid-40s. I wish I'd known back then what I know now: that a midlife crisis is not only a good thing, but essential for all women.
Like many people, I've been gripped by rumours of a feud in the Beckham clan. Did Brooklyn, 26, really snub David's 50th birthday celebrations? Do his wife and his mother really hate each other?
That's the thing with old friends. You feel such intense conflicted feelings about them. Love - yes, I really will love them both until I die. But I also feel the weird push and pull of judgment.
Thought The Substance was a schlock horror movie about an ageing star who injects herself to shed her old skin? It feels like a documentary when faced with the offerings at the Grimaldi Forum.